Thursday, October 8, 2009

Starting over?

I'm feeling the need to start fresh. To discard the canes I've made in the past and start from scratch... (Yes, I know, Kelly, where I can send them!) Some canes are brittle, sadly, and some I'm just tired of. I feel like I need a clean creative slate with a clean work space and a new organizational method (okay, I just need organization.) The clutter everywhere is getting to me, even though I have given away or thrown away an incredible amount of stuff so far.

There are days, like today, where I am so tired and droopy - like the rainy weather outside - that I just want to curl up in a ball and have an excavation team clear out the debris.... both from my house and from my mind!

Caring for my parents, particularly my mom, has taken a physical and mental toll. Most days I am doing fine, handling things well; and I'm very glad that I can do this for them, after all they have given me. Occasionally I have a day where I wonder if I have the strength. Yesterday was one of those days, so today I'm exhausted.

I am sometimes stuck in the "I can't make anything extraordinary so why bother" routine. I see the beautiful, unique work of other artists and mine looks dull by comparison.

That's why I am considering the clear out and start over idea. Now I need a little energy...

7 comments:

storybeader said...

sorry you're feeling down. Why not go the flickr and youtube, and look at pretty things? That might help. I worry about my mom - though she's healthy right now, I'm afraid of the future. OK, I'm a sissy...

DyLinn said...

Take some time to take care of yourself. Have you tried Meditation? Or just deep breathing. It's important to focus on yourself once in awhile so you have more to give to those who need it. And I love your work!! As far as the clutter... baby steps. Which is what I am trying to do right now!! So far the clutter is winning. : ) Hang in there!!

The Jewelry Box said...

Jael, you do so much for others, and I commend you for the great task you have taken on. Please remember to schedule in some Jael time. You can't forget about you and your amazing talent. I would love to see you creating again...You are truely missed. I'm thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. **hugs** :)

Swapna said...

I hope you recover your spirits.. I think getting rid of clutter is the right way to go, since that is supposed to bring in positive energy..Good luck..

Deronda said...

Oooh, the thought of seeing Jael beads again has me drooling. It seems like there should be "daycare" for your mom...just a few hours where you aren't with each other. But I am greedy and hoping you will find a way to create once again.

Eugena said...

Dear Jael,
I've chosen your lovely blog for the Dream Blog award. Please check out the details in today's post at http://polymerclaychameleon.blogspot.com

Eugena said...

Dear Jael,
I've chosen your lovely blog for the Dream Blog award. Please check out the details in today's post at http://polymerclaychameleon.blogspot.com