PATTERNS

As many of you know, I am in the midst of a major clear-out in my house. And because my parents are moving in (mom is here, now) we now have cable installed. I don't watch it much, but I have happened upon a show called "Clean House" which, if I could afford to wait on, I would apply to. (Oh, the terrible grammar I have just thrown at you...)

The target couple/family exposes their cluttered mess and invites the crew to badger and cajole them into selling their possessions at a yard sale. The proceeds are matched, up to $1000, and used to fix up what remains in the house. Other offers are made along the way, when an item is hard for the clutterer(s) to get rid of.

Sigh. Could I EVER use that kind of help!!

My worst area is the room that houses my crafts. (yeah, yeah, my whole house qualifies, but the biggest concentration is in one room) I've been spending time up there, sorting through boxes. I've hit the pattern boxes now.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself if you are ever in my situation, to determine just how bad your disease is:

1) You have just opened a box with loose pattern pieces, instructions, and envelopes. They look as if they might have been sorted at one time. Do you:
a. Wad them up and toss them in the trash. Your time is too precious to sort them out.
b. Sift a bit, to see if there are any "whole" patterns mixed in with the loose pieces.
c. Sort through them meticulously, making piles of each pattern number, checking off each piece on the instructions pages, just in case there are any valuable patterns in there that someone could use somewhere in the world.
d. Close up the box and add it to your "save for a rainy day" pile.

2) Your children are grown. There are baby and toddler clothes patterns. You:
a. Toss them into the giveaway pile without giving them a second glance
b. Choose two or three that are just too cute to part with, and put the rest in the giveaway pile with a little tear in your eye.
c. Make a pile of them to sell on etsy.
d. Sort them by size because someday you will have grandchildren.

3) As you sort, you realize you have purchased the same pattern over and over. Sometimes in different sizes. Sometimes not. What to do?
a. Give them all away. It's obvious you are never going to make the clothing.
b. Save the size you are in and give the rest away.
c. Save one in each size and put the rest in a pile to sell.
d. Save them all. Maybe you'll need them when you start up your own clothing store...

If you answered "a" to all three questions, send me the medication you are on because I want to try it.

If you answered "b" or "c" you are still living in a fantasy world called "denial" (I'm still being dragged kicking and screaming from it myself)

If you answered "d" to all three questions, give it up and check yourself into the funny farm I've been living in for the past 40 years.