Stepping into life and art

Was it really September the last time I posted? Must have been, because that's what it says...

We've been through Thanksgiving, caring for my parents with another compression fracture for mom (hospitalization, rehab center/nursing home, vertebroplasty) and healing, and Christmas season, all of it exhausting. Last year, it was my father having a difficult time with his Parkinson's right around the holiday season, falling all the time and horrible spasticity. The year before was when my folks' situation at home hit the fan, and we scrambled to get the house in order for them to come live here. Is it any wonder that I start to feel a "worse than seasonal affective disorder" feeling as I approach October?

I'm now seeing a therapist who is a social worker. She seems to be more "task oriented" than the psychologists I've seen, which could be both a good thing and a bad thing. Good, because I'm going to be working on the clutter around my house that's dragging me down; bad, because I don't have an outlet to ramble on about how I'm feeling.

My homework this time is to find some papers I got from another social worker showing support groups (haven't found them yet) and put them in a three ring binder. The other is to take pictures of the various areas of my house. Sort of "before" pictures. I've done this before, taken pictures of my clutter with the idea of them being "before" pictures, but somehow I never got to the nice "after" pictures I was aiming for. Here are some in an album that I took around 2005-6: "clutter" I haven't taken the ones for my homework yet, I'm doing it this afternoon because my appointment is tomorrow morning. Yes, I procrastinate. A lot.

I've signed up for a charm swap through Lampwork Etc. and I plan on making the maximum number - 15. We'll send our charms in, and we'll get back the same number we sent. I would not want to be the person sorting out all the charms, as there are over 50 people signed up. I've started making some smaller Karen Lewis-style drum beads as my charms. (like the photo on the left, but smaller) Four are made but not cured yet (then the sanding, antiquing, and more sanding and buffing). The deadline is April, but if I let myself, I could get down to the wire and I really don't want to do that. I'd like to enjoy the process...

Right now what I most feel like doing is laying down and sleeping. Mom got me up at 6 am, and I'm afraid I did not get to bed and to sleep until close to midnight. Stupid on my part, no doubt about it. I knew I would also need to get her a shower, which I did. But now... I just want to crash!!

The mind is working...

If only I could get the hands to start creating. I have vines and leaves on my mind lately. Ideas pop up at weird times, when I can't write them down - like when I'm driving. I see company logos on trucks, vans and billboards ("put up a bill board upon a hill, because those billboards give me such a thrill" - a song from camp, am I scattered?) and they make me think of shapes I could use in my claying.... if I were getting to the table!!!

My living space is as scattered as my mind. Or maybe my mind is scattered and cluttered because of my scattered and cluttered living space?

Caring for 2 more people, who have lots of appointments and lots of needs, is making it hard for me to focus on anything.

Help!!

"Slip slidin' away...
Slip slidin' awaaaaaay....
You know the nearer your destination,
the more you're slip slidin' awa-a-a-y"

Slip Slidin' Away by Paul Simon

PATTERNS

As many of you know, I am in the midst of a major clear-out in my house. And because my parents are moving in (mom is here, now) we now have cable installed. I don't watch it much, but I have happened upon a show called "Clean House" which, if I could afford to wait on, I would apply to. (Oh, the terrible grammar I have just thrown at you...)

The target couple/family exposes their cluttered mess and invites the crew to badger and cajole them into selling their possessions at a yard sale. The proceeds are matched, up to $1000, and used to fix up what remains in the house. Other offers are made along the way, when an item is hard for the clutterer(s) to get rid of.

Sigh. Could I EVER use that kind of help!!

My worst area is the room that houses my crafts. (yeah, yeah, my whole house qualifies, but the biggest concentration is in one room) I've been spending time up there, sorting through boxes. I've hit the pattern boxes now.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself if you are ever in my situation, to determine just how bad your disease is:

1) You have just opened a box with loose pattern pieces, instructions, and envelopes. They look as if they might have been sorted at one time. Do you:
a. Wad them up and toss them in the trash. Your time is too precious to sort them out.
b. Sift a bit, to see if there are any "whole" patterns mixed in with the loose pieces.
c. Sort through them meticulously, making piles of each pattern number, checking off each piece on the instructions pages, just in case there are any valuable patterns in there that someone could use somewhere in the world.
d. Close up the box and add it to your "save for a rainy day" pile.

2) Your children are grown. There are baby and toddler clothes patterns. You:
a. Toss them into the giveaway pile without giving them a second glance
b. Choose two or three that are just too cute to part with, and put the rest in the giveaway pile with a little tear in your eye.
c. Make a pile of them to sell on etsy.
d. Sort them by size because someday you will have grandchildren.

3) As you sort, you realize you have purchased the same pattern over and over. Sometimes in different sizes. Sometimes not. What to do?
a. Give them all away. It's obvious you are never going to make the clothing.
b. Save the size you are in and give the rest away.
c. Save one in each size and put the rest in a pile to sell.
d. Save them all. Maybe you'll need them when you start up your own clothing store...

If you answered "a" to all three questions, send me the medication you are on because I want to try it.

If you answered "b" or "c" you are still living in a fantasy world called "denial" (I'm still being dragged kicking and screaming from it myself)

If you answered "d" to all three questions, give it up and check yourself into the funny farm I've been living in for the past 40 years.

Reorganizing priorities. A mouthful and a mindful.

My mom is coming to live with me in 2 days. My dad will follow in a month. Changes are brewing; fermenting even as we speak.

I've given away the equivalent of 20 or more rubbermaid style totes full of fabric and batting. There is more.

As a pack-rat, or magpie, I have turned a blind eye to the accumulation of stuff for more years than I dare to count. Now that I'm pulling things out and sorting, I ask myself: how many staplers, staple removers, pens, pencils, markers, post-it notes and other office supplies does a family of four need? How about magazines? Paint brushes? Old newspapers? And am I ever going to find the piece of equipment that the little baggie of (what the heck?) metal parts belongs to? Should I really save it just in case?

The real question, a deeper one, that I ask myself now - one that helps me pare down in a big way - is this: what's more important, the thingamabobs and whatchamacallits or my parents' comfort? And the answer there is easy.

The surprising reward to all of this is that it's making my life less complicated even as I'm adding more people to my household. Who would have guessed that having less would make me happier?

So I've packed up a boxful of those art and craft supplies to go to someplace where they can be used. I'll continue to put together boxes of fabric and yarn, and toss the excess junk that no one else will want.

The Beanie Babies? Off to soldiers overseas to pass out to kids there, soon.

While I'm tossing and adjusting, I'll be around my etsy street teams less. Claying less. Just sayin'

Hugs to my loyal readers (wink wink)

Fess up. You've got 'em, too.

Please don't deny it. We all did it. Bought Beanies. Some of us had young children who begged for them. Some collected them for profit. I fall into the former category. (Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)

What you see in the picture are the latest discoveries in my quest for a simpler, clutter-free house. These were in my kitchen pantry/broom closet. They were going to be gifts. Yeah. That's it. Gifts. Another of my stories I'm sticking to.

However... it's just the tip of the iceberg. Like Tribbles in The Trouble With Tribbles episode of the original Star Trek TV show, these soft, furry/fuzzy beanbags of cuteness fall from every closet, pop up in every box... I have two grown kids, and we all loved those things.

Now I'm in the position of looking for places that we can donate them and feel good about it. Otherwise I'm stuck counting them and multiplying that number by $5 and $6 (on up) and that would feel very, very bad. (I'm keeping some bears and bunnies. For now.)

Update- I've been cleaning, sorting, and ruthlessly giving away excess belongings, as those who have been following my blog already know.

I now have a surprisingly close deadline: my mother is coming to live with us in a week, and my dad is following a couple of weeks later, along with the last three of their cats. Their furniture is coming, some of it anyway, too. At the moment the plan is to build on to our house, but it won't be done until late summer (won't start until April, at the earliest). Meanwhile mom and dad will be staying in the family room. So much to do!

I've loaded ten Rubbermaid-style plastic boxes into my van full of fabric to give away. I have many more to give away, because it's the fabric or the clay and beads. Something had to give. I can't believe how much fabric I have. I can't believe I'm nonchalantly, almost blithely giving it away. I love fabric. But I have priorities...

Don't EVER let your house get to the point mine is in!!! Take my situation as a fable, a lesson, a warning. Life is better uncluttered!

a few "before" pictures

I have been working on the space so it looks better, now. Marginally. No after pictures, yet. These photos are of the clay area. The one on the left is looking across the table. The one on the right is the right side of the table and a little bit of the shelving.

I have not yet brought the downstairs portion upstairs; this is what I left upstairs and have been dreading facing for months and months. Maybe even a year.

I am uploading a video I took with my camera before I started sorting and tossing. Notice that I almost trip over debris as I'm walking in. I decided not to narrate it. I'd love to hear from others who understand where I'm coming from....



I almost have enough room cleared now to start pulling some boxes down to pare down what's in them. Fabric doesn't do you much good if you have no room to put your sewing machine!!!